The Journal of Paolo Honorificas
(part 4)

Compiled by J. Scott Malby

Take heart, dear readers, for this is the fourth installment of a writer's secret journal--if you're happy with it, we're happy with it. If this does not satisfy you I'll have to bring out a monkey on a stick. Ask Mr. Honorificas if you don't believe me, as he will testify that replacing linoleum tile with ceramic is quite a trial.

Yours sarcastically,

John "The Facetious" Lawson, editor

P.S. J. Scott "Malby" has asked that fans not share lawsuits when dealing with him. He still recommends straw on dirt as flooring. Thank you.


In the wish fulfilling event that opposites did indeed attract, I sent "Bill Blake Speaks His Mind" out into the ether toward a Delphic Oracle like entity going by the pseudonym of "The Fractured Muse". Here, I thought, was a fitting work-horse to carry the weight of my fifteen minute exercise in interview writing. Two weeks later I received a tantalizing nibble on my electronic line and excitedly began to reel it in. How was I to know that while it was indeed fishy, it turned out to be a deflated rubber tire.

Dear Mr. Honorificas,

Thank you for your submission to Fractured Muse magazine. Unfortunately, your interview with Blake is not a fit with our publication. It certainly is an innovative concept; however, the true voice and mood of Blake is lacking.

Good luck with your endeavors. Keep me posted if your interview is published. Best regards,

Marie Excelsus, Publisher
The Fractured Muse 69 Edmund Wagtail Drive
Huntsville, AL

Hmmm, "fit"?. What did that mean. Was she using a mold? Maybe she was some kind of clothes salesperson on the side and an odd colloquialism slopped over into her new line of work. "Innovative concept", that sounded hopeful. She can't be all bad. On the other hand, what if she meant that even now she was madly typing away, using my "innovative concept" to further her own literary career? Did she know Bill Blake? Had she talked to him about the interview? I had to learn more. "Keep me posted if your interview is published". Why? What did that mean? I needed Bertrand Russell and Whitehead to figure this one out. Was she a jealous person? If it were accepted elsewhere would she write them in an effort to sabotage my blossoming literary career? Was it a question of royalties? Having submitted it to her first, was she entitled to an interest in it? I can be really paranoid about my paranoia. There were things I needed to find out.

She sounded like an intelligent person. As everyone knows: intelligence is a rather rarefied, flakey quality. That might explain her tone. To be honest my journal was going nowhere. She perked it up a little. Maybe this was one of those twisty turns of fate. I was so tired of talking to myself.Ê Would it be possible to get her to respond again? Of five "ezines" I had sent the interview to, she was the only one who responded back. Maybe she was lonely. So many possibilities. I needed to send her another email. Who knows, she might even turn out to be the star of my journal.

Marie: Thank you for your time providing a response. I think you may be confusing the poet Bill Blake with William Blake. A common error. I met with Bill only last week.

Another common error is to confuse a poet's personal life with their public pronouncements. Read Leigh Hunt's article on William Blake. After all: a "harmless lunatic" can't be a "harmless lunatic" all the time. Sometimes they can have a rather lucid, average day. My "Interview with an Awful Poet" will be out soon as well as another column installment at www.harvest-art.com detailing the "minutes" of the "Lost Bay Poet's Society".

I regard the truest insanity as pretending normality while you are slapped in the face by the warty hand of an insane cosmos. My years in a mental hospital attest to this fact. The question regarding my prose work is not "if" I get it placed but who I choose to give it to. Hugs and kisses: Crazy Paolo Honorificas

Now, all I would have to do is wait a few weeks more and I might just get another response. A "few weeks" could mean anything up to six months with an editor. Time enough to write another interview.

 


Back to the Fiction List