Fiction

Chapter 2: Tzimtzum

(Part 2)

Tyiea continued walking. Ian moved up beside her. Periodically she would stop, unsure which way to go. When this happened she bent down and picked up a fistful of crumbling leaves. Ian watched her with great curiosity. Whispering an incantation over the organic mulch, she threw the material into the air. As the decay drifted to the ground Ian noticed an imperceptible, temporary flash of green wings sailing off in a different direction then the rest of the falling dross.

How much further? Ian asked impatiently.

Tyiea started off again, picking up her pace. Anger and impatience are dangerous faults. We were never far from our destination. Such is the way of power places. Now, we are waiting for it to find us. Do you understand?

Ian scratched his head, Not a word. I don't know what confuses me more, the questions I ask or the answers you give. His scalp itched. To his surprise he felt the rough texture of stubble. The hair on his head was beginning to grow back. His whole body itched. Something about this place was causing the creatures that adorned his skin to squirm. When he stepped in one direction the living tattoos tried to guide him in another.

It was Tyiea who was now watching him, You feel the way. Don't deny it. It is I who should be following you. Guide us both. Ian, show us the way.

The next step Ian took was in the direction his body had been trying to prod him. He felt both cold and then tingling heat as if an electric current was turning off and on inside of him. Ian remembered the same feeling when he was in the shower right before he found himself abducted into this insane nightmare. He closed his eyes. The taste of panic began to bubble up from his stomach into his throat. He was queasy and sick. His throat constricted, threatening to cut off his ability to breathe. Then he felt Tyiea's hand inside of his. At least he thought he did. He battled with his terror trying to force it back. Tyiea's voice seemed to filter into his mind. Stay calm it pleaded. His panic subsided as he experienced a familiar, welcome sensation rising from under his bare feet. When he opened his eyes he found himself standing in a meadow of grass. Its sweet smell filled his nose making him dizzy. Instead of the damp shadow of a forest canopy over his head the hot sun was beating down on his bare head.

For a second or two his body felt out of tune with itself. He turned to look around. In the far distance he noticed the vague outline of four towers or columns that reminded him of nothing so much as green flames. In the foreground was a circle of tall stone plinths like eerie guards whose alien faces turned upward, staring at the sky. Inside the first stone circle was another series of stone monuments circling a grassy knoll. Ian's body involuntarily spasmed. Embedded in the knoll was a creature's face. Between its huge gaping jaws were a series of horrendous teeth. Giant wings spread up and out from behind the head. it looked so real Ian had the uneasy feeling that the creature had simply turned to stone. An ancient paved path beginning at his right led between the plinths and up to the mouth of the monster. Ian could just make out the outline of steps leading down and into the creature's mouth.

Incongruously, squatting on top of the knoll like a hurried afterthought was a small, dilapidated, thatched cottage. Smoke was coming out of a hole in the roof. A human shape appeared at the cottage doorway. Ian had to squint his eyes because of the sun. The figure appeared to be waving to them. Ian quietly heaved a sigh of relief when it became clear that Tyiea was leading them up to the cottage bypassing the monster's mouth.

Something was wrong. As the sun reflected off Tyiea a portion of it seemed to pass through her. Ian attributed it to a trick of light. The bent shape in the doorway began to walk toward them while talking. It was a woman's voice, not unpleasant but uncomfortably familiar to him from his encounter with the apparition in the forest. What was surprising was that this woman looked nothing like the crone he had witnessed earlier. The stooped features of this woman were grandmotherly and reassuring.

Thank god you children have finally arrived, she said. I swear I've been waiting an eternity. You must be hungry. I prepared a stew. It's nothing fancy mind you because I didn't know when you would get here or if you would get here at all. Things are heating up everywhere. I'm not young anymore and can't take care of it all. Tyiea, you look just as beautiful as the last time I saw you. You were dressed differently as I recall. In jewels and armor wasn't it? Don't mind me. Getting befuddled in my old age I guess.

Turning toward Ian, the grandmotherly figure paused. She looked him up and down appraisingly, Who have we here? You look familiar. I'm sure we met before. I know fashion statements are important to young people but aren't you afraid of getting sunburned dear?

Ian blushed. He had almost grown accustomed to his lack of attire. Tzimtzum? he asked. The older woman paused as if not expecting the question. For a moment Ian swore to himself that her image wavered and he could see through her. The moment quickly passed as her composure returned.

Don't know if I know myself, she countered. A part of me maybe but aren't we all? It's just that Tzimtzum wanted you to feel at home. Knew you were coming of course. Tzimtzum has her good and bad days. A shame really but she's not what she was. Gets everything confused now. What's the matter with me? Blathering along in this hot sun when I'm sure you both would like nothing better then to come in from the heat and rest. Come along now. Leading the way she ushered both Tyiea and Ian into the cottage.

Ian was startled by what he encountered. The place was a demented combination of hovel and palace. He found himself in a large room, much larger then appeared possible from the outside but so crowded with both trash and treasures that passage through it represented a twisting obstacle course. He noticed strange white doors as well, leading into unknown recesses. The woman led the way talking continuously. I want you to feel at home now. If you see something you like...that appeals to you just let me know. My goodness, I should do a little cleaning. No, what I really need to do is check the stew. Tyiea dear, would you mind bringing in some wood? That will give me a little time to get to know your friend better.

Tyiea said nothing as she hesitantly turned and left. The older woman continued to lead Ian further into the maze until he lost all sense of direction. On exquisite tables Ian noticed gold artifacts and jewels right beside mounds of dried bird crap. On other tables, some with insect chewed or broken legs, were dusty books piled on their sides against dented pots and pans. Ian felt a breeze. He looked up as a gray shadow flitted by. What was that? he asked suspiciously.

The woman chuckled, Don't be alarmed. It's just Ka. He keeps me company in my old age. He's shy but curiosity is his failing. When he gets to know you better he might drop by for a chat. Don't believe a word he says. He can't be trusted Ka can't. Or maybe we can't be trusted to understand what he says. It's all so confusing. I'm never sure. Just remember to keep him off the top of your head. Brains are his favorite food. Until he gets to know you better his hunger might get the best of him. A child really.

Ian shuddered as the old woman led him to an empty table at the end of the maze. A hearth was blazing at one corner. The stones surrounding it were cracked and discolored. They were piled together haphazardly. Ian couldn't understand how they managed to stay together. The whole cottage seemed pervaded by the aura of a demented mind. He thought it strange that the fire gave off no heat but the aroma of cooking stew made him recognize how hungry he was for a hot meal. The old woman stirred the mixture and ladled out a heaping portion into a golden bowl. It steamed. She waved Ian to a series of chairs before the table, watching intently which chair he might choose. One was cloth backed, richly textured, imposing with encrusted gems. It looked regal and very comfortable. The chair next to it was much less imposing but Ian noticed a little red feather had fallen on it. On impulse this was the chair he chose. The woman grunted to herself. Ah, I see you don't like authority.

What do you mean? Ian responded guardedly. He felt himself getting angry.

Don't be coy with Mother Dalet. She may be an odd thing but she knows what she knows. What bothered you about the larger chair?

Nothing really. I just liked this one. Mother Dalet, is that what you're called?

Yes, you may call me that. It would make me happy. She chuckled to herself as she placed the gold bowl and a spoon on the table. She then shuffled over to a cupboard and withdrew from it a half eaten loaf of bread on a wooden platter. Ian tore a chunk from the loaf and dipped it in the stew. Mother Dalet sat across from him. Chewing on the moist bread, Ian thought it curious that she was eating nothing so he pushed the bowl and platter of bread toward her. With shaking hands she tore off a little bread and followed Ian's example. Ah, she said, You share. You must have old campaigner blood in you.

Ian looked puzzled. Anger was now clearly in his voice. Campaigner? What are you talking about. I don't know what that means.

Mother Dalet smiled. Her teeth were yellowed and came to sharp points. You didn't use the spoon. To dip and eat is a habit of those on the road. Their eyes met for a moment. Ian felt an icy sliver of pain slice through his mind as if someone else were suddenly there inside of him. He looked away from Mother Dalet and the feeling passed.

What are you after? Ian asked, aren't you really Tzimtzum?

So, you would like to meet Tzimtzum is it?

For one of the first times in his life Ian controlled his anger. He let it slip into a seldom used pocket in his mind. I think it's the other way around. Show yourself as you are. I'm not a mouse. I will not be your plaything.

As you wish. Young people have no patience anymore, the old lady said as the room surrounding Ian began to waver. Mist rose out of nowhere to engulf him. When it cleared Ian found himself sitting on the floor of an immense cavern. Two huge eyes were dancing inside themselves as they stared down at him curiously. Dark, vertical slits of pupils swam in a sea of yellow light. On the floor inches from him began a reptilian looking snout that grew larger the more he looked, leading up to those two mesmerizing eyes. Slowly, the body of the apparition became clearer. It was enormous. Scales covered the creature. Many of them seemed to be brittle and cracked. Gigantic folded wings on the body appeared torn and full of holes, covered sporadically by psychedelic patterns of brightly colored mold. A dusty, sibilant voice entered his head.

So, we meet as we are. Human who calls himself Ian, it was I who permitted you entrance to this world. I am Tzimtzum, First of Dreamers and you are...what?

Ian felt himself surrendering to the power of the eyes drawing him into their dark void. He tried to think of something, anything except the ocean he was now drowning in. He tried to recover by changing the topic. Is this the House of Dreamers?

The answer came into his head like a thought. No, not that place. If it's not that place it must be somewhere else or is it? A place you probably won't leave. Many have come. Few have left.

The hypnotic eyes of Tzimtzum were becoming whirlpools, engulfing him. His mind was being eaten alive. He bit his lip tasting his own blood. The taste and pain brought the creature into sharper focus. Danger there was. Ian knew it. He felt it. With nervous recognition he realized that Tzimtzum could swallow him whole. Yet, there was something about the creature that saddened him. He could not believe he was feeling pity. The emotion further sharpened his mind. Many of Tzimtzum's scales were almost transparent. Ian noticed that the forelegs her serpentine and warty snout was resting on were arthritic and misshapen. Tzimtzum seemed to breathe with difficulty. Ian became acutely aware that there was madness in the eyes as well. He realized that he would have to be very careful if he were to survive this encounter. He needed to be in control of himself more than he had ever been before. Ian heard the creature's voice in his head repeating the same question again and again: You are...what?

Ian was unsure what to say. He noticed a strange smell pervading the cavern. He tried to recall where he had smelled it last. It came to him that Tzimtzum smelled like nothing so much as a freshly washed, warm dog. Ian felt empathy for her. He answered as politely as he could, You tell me?

Tzimtzum's eyes widened. She looked amused, slightly raising her upper lip revealing jagged, yellow, razor sharp and powerful teeth. Of the many that were once where you are now not one has survived. But none were as insolent and as amusing. We shall talk man-boy called Ian. Who you are remains an open question. You may be the one. It is possible but unlikely. Interesting, I sense you were made to visit those places I once knew. The question is will it be in infamy or glory? Do you like riddles Ian?

Ian was beginning to loose hope. He answered quickly this time, It depends on whether I have to answer them or make them up.

True in one sense but not in another. Riddle me this, what do space and time have in common?

Ian was stumped. The question he remembered was one Tyiea had talked about. The monster was the first to break the silence. I will answer it for you Ian. There is no difference. They are one in the same. You came from one dimension into another. Time and space are one thread wavering as they join other threads. Think that they are all there is and it will become all there is. I am time and space, Ian. You are as well. The difference is that I sang a simple song and that song took flight, doubling and tripling into an infinite song until space with time warped. Think that you are limited and you will be. Think that here and now is all there is and that too will be, limiting you to the confines of your own narrowness. Know that where you are now is quite possibly the door to the end of time. Do you understand me?

Ian gulped, No, not everything. Some of it is sinking in.

Tzimtzum moved slightly. Ian tensed, unsure where he would jump if she turned on him. There was nothing he could do. They were so close. All she had to do was flick her tongue and it would snap him in two. Ian's discomfiture was not lost to Tzimtzum. Her dark lips curled into a smirk. We too are islands and yet we meet, one inside the other. We are merely different aspects of the same sea. Move into the sea. Become the sea.

Who are the Old Folk? Ian countered, hoping to insure a little more time for himself.

Tzimtzum blinked. Ian felt as if she had a mental rope around him and was now in the process of reeling him in. She answered in his mind, They who made me. They played with my genes until they felt I was what they wanted. I fooled them, Ian. I took flight. In the end, I returned to do what I was made to do. In this place the All stops. I grew bored and flew again. Once outside this warp in time I slowly aged. I have made thousands of flights. I make them no more. It is up to another to do so. Now, the time has come for the most important question of your pitiful little existence. Answer me carefully. Who are you?

Ian swore he could hear the textured swish of Tzimtzum's immense tongue as it curled expectantly in and around her front teeth. He didn't know what to say. He wanted to say goodbye to Tyiea. He thought of their time together. In his mind an image of her appeared and with it came the words she had voiced so lovingly. Ian answered Tzimtzum, I'm a Care Taker.

Are you now? Would you take on my cares? The burdens of time? This world may be your own as it might be in the future. Worlds are moving islands. There is a medium between them. The medium vibrates for those like you and me. We are Gatekeepers. We are Care Takers. We keep the past and present separate. We close and open doors. I smell in you the true blood of the Old Folk. It makes me angry and I am hungry. My mind is failing me. Instinct is taking over. Save this world from itself, Ian. My power is fading. A ship has broken through my barrier of illusion. Destruction is at hand. The shadows grow strong again. They will soon smell you out. One day you may come to learn that in saving those around you, you save yourself. But that is only part of the reason you are here. There is another.

Yes? Ian cursed softly, unable to think of anything else to say. When in doubt keep asking questions he told himself.

The monster's eyes narrowed as if attempting to burrow into the core of Ian's sole. Her long tail moved slowly back and forth. I want you to kill me, Ian. If you kill me all I possess will be yours. My power will be yours. I have flown between voids. My treasures are considerable. They are beyond your imagination. Tzimtzum's nose twitched. She was smelling out his emotions, watching the young man intently as he squirmed in bewilderment.

Ian answered uncomfortably and from his heart, What? I don't think so. I don't want your blood on my hands. I think it would burn. Besides, how could I save anyone when I can't save myself. I want answers not obligations. If you don't mind I think I want to leave now. Just whisk me back where I came from. Ian felt little beads of sweat drip from his forehead.

A whoosh of wind exhaled from Tzimtzum's mouth. Ian could not decide what it meant. It might have been a laugh or sign of annoyance. The aged monster quipped back, Answers and obligations come together as one. Move into the black watering hole where each dimension leads to another dimension and you will find as many dimensions as your mind can create. Your very resistance is a sign. You were called, Ian. Called long ago but you refused to come. I urged you forward and hated you because your arrival represented my own undoing. I am tired. Kill me Ian that I might rise again. If you refuse I am fated to be forever as I am now. I will weaken and weaken, fated never to die. I will give in to my own insanity and overwheming darkness will have been brought about. A time I have pledged my life to prevent. You must kill me. You must do it now before the madness takes me within itself forever and I can't find my way back.

Kill you? How could I?

Tzimtzum lifted herself slightly with effort as one of her gnarled claws moved toward him. Its nails were as long as Ian himself. Tzimtzum pushed an ineffective looking little dagger toward the young man. The sound of it scraping along the stone floor sent chills through him. A scarlet jewel gleamed in the dagger's pummel. Ian had to shield his eyes. His whole body began to itch furiously.

Climb, Ian. Climb upon my back. I will lower my head again and raise my scales revealing an ancient scar. This weapon wounded me once. The second wound in the same place will cause my end. Be quick. Do not hesitate. Run from me once you have plunged the dagger in. I will burst into flame. What I leave behind will be yours. All of it accept one thing.

What could that be? Ian asked incredulously.

You will know when you see it. Do not fail me, Ian. We are each our own lost hope.

Ian reluctantly picked up the dagger and approached Tzimtzum. He stepped on the narrowest tip of her snout that was as broad as he was tall. He climbed. The scales against his own flesh were abrasive. It was like climbing a mountain. Ian noticed that her eyes appeared like two lakes he traveled between. A shadow passed him. It was Ka. The bird perched on his shoulder. He tried to dislodge it to no avail. The bird simply hovered in the air until Ian's attention was diverted, taking the opportunity to land back on his shoulder. Ian continued to climb. After what seemed hours, Ka whispered in his ear, Here, here is the place. She raises her scale. Strike! Strike!!

Ian looked closely. The scales were smaller in size here, the size of shovel heads overlapping and packed densely together. Some were translucent revealing pulsing veins beneath. One was different. It seemed oddly misshapen. It was raised but not high enough. Now! Now! Now! Ka screamed, Tzimtzum grows crazy. She is changing her mind!

Panicked, Ian brought his free hand forward and wrenched the heart shaped scale further up. A green welt revealed itself pulsing erratically. Tzimtzum let out a dark roar that bounced across to the distant cavern walls setting off an echo threatening to deafen the young man. Tzimtzum tried to shake herself free of Ian. She began to rise to her feet. It was only then that Ian plunged the dagger into the beast. Tzimtzum shivered. She began to roll over unto her side like some kind of beached whale. Ian knew that if he didn't time things right he would be crushed by her weight. Blood began to spout from her wound. A drop of it landed on Ian's shoulder. He screamed from the burning pain. Jump! Ka wailed. Jump! Jump! Jump!

Reacting from instinct as much as Ka's prodding, Ian leaped barely inches ahead of the tumbling mass of crushing armored scales. He rolled over and over. Run! Ka kept screaming as Tzimtzum erupted into flame. Ian managed to gain his footing and ran down the cavern length. He had no idea how really immense it was. Out of breath and nowhere near the end, with Ka hovering above him, Ian turned to face Tzimtzum. He swore he saw her wink at him before her eye turned into a lake of fire. The pain from the blood on his shoulder was immense. It felt like a river of flame surging through the entire length of his body. Ian fainted with the sound of Ka's incessant chattering ringing in his ears, Woosh! Whoosh! Ka good for you I say. Close one it was. Close one. Near thing! Ka saves the day!

The bird peered at the boy closely, an inch away from Ian's left shoulder. It rubbed its feathered head on his arm. The burn had spread and was even now congealing into an impenetrable claw shaped dragon scale. Ka was pleased. He would have a place to perch that would remind him of his mother, Tzimtzum. Ian dreamed, vainly trying to part the veil of darkness. Searching for the one person he cared about the most, franticly trying to regain consciousness that he might find out what happened to Tyiea.

Stay tuned for the next chapter