Pinch Me,
I Must Be All American Dreaming

by Malachi Doane

I

Go Juice,
& vitamin V
Go juice,
& vitamin V.

Vitamin W
Sometimes.

Saint Bambam,
Of the deep
Waters.
I have lost my sight.

What penance must I
Endure.

Isolation
It is not liberating
Nor is it restful
But Limbo on earth
Cooperstown is the
Tomb of Plato.

Nowhere could be
Further from the
Forms.
Here is the false
Brahman, the
Twisted way.

Curse all the
Black plastic
And sweat.

My brother I
Could not save.
He goes to the
Machine, even
NOW!

Tiny Dancer,
Where are you?
Has the madness
of acceptance taken
you too?

The noble IM
The declaration
Of boys, now
Men with six
Legs and abundant
Fruit?

I stay in
Mostly these
Days chained
To the pew
In my living
Room, where
Very little
Actually
Happens.
Except for
The time travel
And nightly
Circus.

Leonard Nemoy
Dan Rather
It’s all news
Truths hidden
In ancient
Mystery.

Every utterance
Of the self-
Proclaimed President
Like 1960’s fashion
Juxtapose to harsh
Vulcan logic
Absurd.

I head for the
Kitchen so to
Brew, and weep.

My vitamins all
Watered down frazzled
Pump me full
Yum.
Good to the
Last Cock.O.-Doodle-Do

Start Again.

II


Trust.
I’m losing it
No it is
Being lost.
Sir, “Can you
Help please,
In which aisle
Will I find
What I’m looking
For – If I could
Be more specific
I would be.”
& so on.
& so forth.
& so what?
So I’m told.
So that
It is so.
“What makes
This salad
Epicurean?”
I don’t know.
What do you
Know.
Really?
I’m hungry
For what?
Does it matter.

-PAUSE-
-REWIND-
-PLAY-

“Can you not
Help please?”
Huh?
Corn & Potatoes
“That has nothing to
do with salad” –
Then neither will
I

-STOP-

III
Last Night Was Rough
I had to turn off the TV news last night.
I just can't stand hearing it anymore.
They are all pigs, and at this point it just feels
like the evening news is just for rubbing it in.

A president we didn't elect, talking about a sorta war
we won, but how the prisoners aren't POW's? How
we've got to get back to business as usual, Enron.

"Poor stockholders, I mean employees, I mean all of us,
I mean, how about another tax break. "

Bread
and
Circuses
Just like the Romans but
I don't think we'll do as well.

Everyday my passport
Loses on the market
Replaced by US Dollars.
But they'll only last
So long.

They'll murder for pennies
when the ship sinks.
And we'll be just another
Wreck to dive on
For posterities
Sake.

IV
I cry.
I miss my farm.
My days full of beautiful toil.
His words, Samuel Clements that is, describing the view.
In the best years of his life.
The same words for some of mine.
I never thought I could miss it like that.
Just a caretaker, a farm hand
Men in the Navy and their boats
I understand.
To leave a legacy
To live a legacy
Just doing your job.
When it lands you will know
And you will cry too.
To pull another Locus
Another shovel of mulch
A barn so red you could taste it
The mulberry tree.
Falling asleep and being caught
In the hammock out front.
I can still smell the breeze
And the library,
And I can't stop crying.

V
These days
These days

Can’t drink enough
Can’t smoke enough
Can’t fuck enough

Chances need to be taken

Allen makes sense
Jack makes sense
Neal makes sense

They talk to me, about things.

Go to school, we are a school.
& it hasn’t been the same
Since fate separated us.

The blurry burning nights,
The cold harsh ones.
You could be such a bitch
& I loved every second of it.

-Another liter gone by
My lips & I’m back in Angles
At the all night orgies,
Then to a rainy day &
A bottle of wine
& a secrete.

Prague, Sofia, Istanbul
I looked for you
Everywhere.

Drunk
Lost
Alone

“Co je moi tanecnicka!”


Thank god I found you when
I did.
Or someone.

Those days
These days
Two masters

We are a school
Fuck them all
We are artists

We drink life
Cock in hand
Bloody nose
Bottle in other
Still searching,
Climax
Rinse
Repeat.

VI
America,
“go fuck yourself with your atom bomb”
Saint Ginsberg never made so much sense

America,
Forget Afghanistan,
Your terrorists are here.

America,
I have left before,
I’ll do it again.

You who kill your children,
The best and brightest
Junior high school death

It’s not the worst fate.
Most ride the melodious
Throbbing cock or sugar
Cube Cola war into
Endless repetition.

America,
I have found the
Flaming sword.

America,
The high haired one
Has spoken,
Spoken to
Me.

America,
From the silky curls of
Your lush conch
My wet soul slipped out.

America,
Is destiny manifest?
Is anything?
Is everything?

America
Mericaa
Ericaam
Ricaame
Icaamer
Cacmeri
Am I
OK
Anymore

America ?

You are not,
& I’m telling mom
VII
Alone with my thoughts.
A cup of Coffee,
And a cat,
That could care less.

I spoke to god tonight.
More like yelled.
You're a piece of shit.
Am not.
Are So.

Then I thought about it,
And he was right.
Stupid fucker can't be,
Unless I am too.

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