Benny was a murderer, but he wasn't much of one. First of all, his victims had the annoying habit of occasionally coming back to life and playing board games with him, after which they had to be killed all over again. Second of all, he only killed Albinos.

This presented a number of problems. Due to the rarity of Albinos, he often found himself spending tremendous amounts of money on airfare to track them down. After a period of two or three years, they became listed on the Endangered Species List, thanks to Benny's diligent efforts. Being rather concerned about the whole situation, an emergency meeting of the International Albino Society was called, at which he killed all those that were left. He was immediately declared the Hitler of the Albino world - unfortunately, there were no Albinos left to complain about it.

This made Benny very sad. It was a situation that had to be remedied.

First, he tried hunting vampires, in order to kill them and bleach their hair. This, it turned out, was an exceedingly bad idea. As it turned out, someone had found him out and posted warnings on several popular vampire newsgroups. After being brutally flamed and having his feelings hurt by their uncaring remarks, Benny gave up on them.

Next, he tried injecting small children with large quantities of bleach and chlorine. They didn't turn out white as he had expected, but they all grew up to be excellent pool boys upon discovering their unique ability to chlorinate and disinfect swimming pools simply by urinating in them. They went on to form an elite crime-fighting unit that investigated all manner of pool-related atrocities.

Benny remained dissatisfied. He often found himself venting his frustration on innocent Albino bunny rabbits. One day, Benny was leaning against the rabbit cage, scrutinizing a bunny to judge whether or not it would withstand strenuous torture. Quite suddenly, it let out a thunderous roar, which propelled Benny across the room and shattered his basement windows.

Benny was mildly disturbed by this. Windows are damn expensive these days.

Benny rarely shouted. In fact, he thoroughly disliked shouting. But the arrogant little bunny had gone entirely too far. "How dare you!" he bellowed, his nostrils flaring, well, like a bunny's.

"We will destroy you," the bunny croaked in a deep, robotic voice, twitching its nose menacingly.

Benny blinked. He had not expected this at all.

"We have been studying your planet for quite some time now. Unfortunately, our group lost contact with the home planet, and thus could not relay a distress signal to communicate your atrocities to the Supreme Bunny. This prevented us from being rescued from this distressingly non-bunny planet. But we have at last repaired our Ronco nose-wiggle-transmitters. You will
die."

The bunny promptly exploded.

Benny felt that he might have to call his shrink about this. But he thought better of it. He came to realize that he was the only one who could save the world from the Bunny Threat. He watched amazed as the other bunnies began to beam out of their cages, their faces solemn and grave. One swore at him. Benny felt that such behavior was absolutely unacceptable, what with them preparing to destroy the planet and all. But being a non-confrontational sort, he held his tongue. Suddenly, one of the bunnies stopped in mid air, hovered momentarily, then spat on him. "Bastard!" it hissed, thumping its feet for emphasis. It glared sharply at him, and bright pink laser beams shot from its eyes and shattered his pottery wheel. It then resumed its graceful ascent to the bunnies' super-advanced interstellar ship, by way of his living room.

As the final bunny began to rise into the air, Benny made a snap decision. He snatched it from the yellow and blue beam that held it aloft and looked it in the eye. For the first time in his life, he felt strong, decisive, and confident. The bunny glared at him indignantly. "Yes?"

He smiled triumphantly. Finally things were going to go his way. "You tell the Supreme Bunny this. I will tell the whole world of your plans. You haven't got a chance in hell!" Benny's adrenaline began to rise. For the first time in his life, he was standing up for himself. "The only way you guys can succeed," he said, his voice rising to a crescendo, "is to comply with my demands!"

The bunny looked tired, and mildly annoyed. "What do you want?"

"I want you to make me a woman. A beautiful Albino woman that I can KILL!"

The bunny twitched its nose thoughtfully. "The Supreme Bunny wishes to comply," it said mechanically.

Benny was promptly transformed into a gorgeous, leggy, Albino lady, the prettiest he'd ever seen. Moments later, he killed himself.